Punishing The Lot For The Sins Of a Few
It
was now about twenty till the start of the ceremony and I, as is
my custom, was making the rounds checking to see if everything
and everyone was ready for the ceremony's start. I typically spend
the final minutes talking to and prepping my bride and groom.
The
ceremony was to begin at four and all was ready. It was then
that the bride told me that her ceremony would not be starting
at four, as her invitations had stated, but rather at four-thirty. This
puzzled me. Is your family late I asked? "No" she
replied.."I put four on the invitations so that everyone
would think the ceremony is starting earlier than it is; that
way all the late comers will be here for the real start at
four-thirty."
I
walked over to the banquet room where 75 guests were now seated.
All sat quiet, neatly dressed, with some speaking to their
neighbors in hushed tones to pass the time. It was about a
quarter of, and these guests who respectfully came early, some
as much as a half hour early, had only another fifteen minutes
to wait (or so they thought) as they passed their time listening
to the DJ's house music. I
stood at the doorway and looked in. Some of the guests who
realized I must be the minister politely smiled at me as they
sat silently waiting.
I
felt sorry for them. For these guests- the ones who made a
point of being on time- whether they enjoyed wedding ceremonies
or not, were going to be punished for the sake of the tardy,
and as you will see, for those who wanted to skip the wedding
altogether. These guests had another forty five minutes of
waiting ahead of them, which meant that some of them will have
been in their hard steel seats for an entire hour.
When
explaining to me why she would be starting her ceremony late,
the bride also told me: "You see Tom, my family is never
on time, it's a cultural thing." To this I responded to
her "It's not a cultural thing- it's a decision." No
culture is inherently late, just like no culture is inherently
on time. And I've had the good pleasure to have worked for
them all.
Four-thirty
finally came, and the ceremony, which the bride wanted everyone
to see finally began. Midway through the ceremony though, the
latecomers arrived. They stood at the back of the room with
surprised looks on their faces as the ceremony they
wanted to avoid was going on right in front of them. And
so they decided
to seat themselves- in the middle of ceremony. This caused
so much commotion that I stopped the ceremony to let them take
their seats.
It's
ironic to me that that the very people who had no interest
in the ceremony, and who were trying to avoid it, delayed and
interrupted the ceremony for those who did. It would seem to
me that a
couple should try and reward those who respectfully show
up on time for a ceremony with a timely start.
Fibbing
a start time is a disqualifying decision. I will not officiate
for any couple who is deliberately intending to misrepresent
their start time. Doing so disrespects the guests, me, and
the hired professionals attending the ceremony.
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