My Final Words To You

Professional Services

I am a Chicago Wedding Officiant
How to Obtain Your Marriage License
Your Planning Session
Your Rehearsal
Your Wedding Ceremony
Elopement Ceremonies in Chicago
Chicago Justice of the Peace
Child Naming/Parental Dedication

Pricing and Fees

Contact Me (by email)

(800) 523-5957

See 225 Chicago Venues
See You Tube Video
My Facebook Page

--------------------------------
CLICK HERE- And
See the Images of My
Wedding Ceremonies
.
--------------------------------

All About My Services

About Thomas Witham
How My Ceremonies Are Different
The Couples I Work For
Wedding Venues Where I've Performed
Religious & Philosophical Expression
Your Greatest Advocate
Letters of Appreciation
For Those Previously Married

Designing Your Ceremony

Facing Your Guests (Modern Format)
Backs Turned (Traditional Format)
Examples of Wedding Vows
Environment
Ushers
Effective Seating
Aisle Runner or Petals
Children in Wedding Ceremonies
The Escorting of a Bride
Taking Parental Vows
The Use of Music
Using a Pedestal
Using a Wedding Carriage
A New Role For Grandparents
Readers
Wedding Ceremony Readings
In Memoriam

Ceremonies in Special Places
Ceremonies in Theme
Taking Your Ceremony to Others
Improvisation
Staying in Character
What Name Should I Use?
What if it Rains?
Fibbing Your Start Time
Ceremonies in Candlelight
The Reception Line

The Order of Events

Primary Options:
Read this First
The Unity Candle
Champagne Sharing
The Sand Ceremony
The Blessing Tree
Tying the Knot
Tasting the Elements
Using a Photomontage
The Giving of Roses

Options In Finale:
Butterfly Release
Dove Release
Balloon Release
Tossing Petals
Bubbles in a Wedding Ceremony
Applause Walk

The Five Rules:
Rule One
Rule Two
Rule Three
Rule Four
Rule Five

Advice on Photography
Advice on Wedding Coordinators
Death by Venue
An Invitation To Journalists

Resources and Links

For Those Considering Plagiarism

Home Page

Site Map

 

Rule 2: Feelings Make Wedding Ceremonies
Bride embracing her father
Wendy embraces her father as she walks down the aisle at Illinois Beach State Park - Zion, Il.


The Voltage of Every Entertainment Event

Your ceremony must evoke feelings in your guests for feelings are what move us- not mere words. Intellectually based ceremonies, where love is explained or where the minister bases his or her ceremony on telling anecdotal stories about the couple make for marginal affairs indeed. One month after your wedding day, very few people will be able to tell you what was said during your ceremony- that's human nature.  But ten years from now they will still be able to tell you how they felt at your wedding ceremony. The success of your wedding ceremony will therefore be measured in smiles and tears. Don't let it be measured in yawns.

In the photo above, Wendi embraces her father at the head of the aisle, in a moment, her groom Jim will come to meet her. Prior to this moment, at the base of the aisle while she was entering, she paused and kissed her father on the cheek and in doing so incited within her guests the first of many feelings as they too felt Wendi's affection for her father. This entrance, and all the choreography within it, was instructed and practiced at her rehearsal.

Wendi and JimIn the photo can be seen four prominent women, all are taken by the drama, and all are feeling it. A fifth woman, in the third row, cannot look on, she is the most moved. Two gentlemen are riveted to Wendy's father, whose eyes have welled with tears. A sixth woman is wiping her eyes. Of the six women three have cameras yet none are taking pictures. They have been taken by their emotions, the pictures will have to wait.

During her ceremony, Wendi and her groom will incite other feelings within their guests. Those guests will feel the romance of a first date as they watch Wendy and Jim "Wine Share." They'll feel Wendy and Jim's love for their families as they watch them present roses to their parents. And they'll feel excitement and elation as they shower them with petals and applaud as Jim and Wendi walk down the aisle at the ceremony's conclusion. All of these options and how to perform them are extensively practiced during rehearsal.

As human beings, feelings are what move us and feelings are what anchor events in our lives. I cannot remember anything that was said to me when I attended my first day of school, but I do remember I cried, and I cried on the second day too. The nuns who ran my school were from The Little Sisters Of The SS, a European order (don't laugh, you'd cry too).

We spend lots of money at the movies in the courses of our lives. Added to this is all the time watching our favorite tv shows, and the novels we've read and the occasional trips to see theatric performances. All because we want to be moved in some way. And yes, sports fits right up there at the top giving us the adrenalin of excitement as we watch a bases clearing triple putting our team on top in the final inning.

A wedding ceremony, if designed and performed correctly, will gently incite a wide range of emotions within its audience. These feelings will form the wellspring from which all the complements will come from as guests excitedly tell the bride and groom how happy they are for them, and how impressed they were with their ceremonies.The experiencing of emotion is the key to all of this.

 

Copyright Statement